I hope you’ll enjoy this extra-special scene that takes place during Defending His Hope. If you’ve read the book, you know that a certain someone went into the field for the first time in forever. Before he could do that, he had to have a very emotional conversation with his wife.
Ripper
Charlie nudges my hand every time I stop pacing. The last rays of sunlight turn Puget Sound a rich shade of purple, and I wonder what the fuck I was thinking.
Going on mission? Leaving Seattle? Cara? Charlie? If I don’t spend the entire time huddled in a corner rocking back and forth, it’ll be a damn miracle.
One-time deal. That’s all this is. It has to be.
Cara’s bright, blue coupe pulls up next to Ry’s SUV, and I head straight for her.
When I texted her, she responded in seconds.
You’re safe, Jackson. I’ll be right there.
She only calls me Jackson when I’m on the edge of a panic attack. It calms me. Reminds me I’m free. That I left Isaad behind more than two years ago when Ry, Dax, and the rest of the team pulled me out of that goddamn well and dragged me—kicking and screaming since I didn’t believe they were real—to safety.
Now, as they pack weapons, MREs, and enough tech to hack the world, I’m standing outside trying to calm my racing heart.
“Jackson.” Cara cups the back of my neck and touches her forehead to mine. “You’re safe. I’m here.”
“I…I know, sunshine. It’s…fuck.”
She moves closer, fitting her body to mine. Her lips brush my neck. “Talk to me.”
“Wren… She’s been working all day, and she’s exhausted. It’s a miracle Ry didn’t carry her out of here hours ago and take her home.”
“She’d have given him hell for it,” Cara says, a hint of a smile coloring her tone. “But why can’t you run things from here?”
I pull back so I can meet her gaze. “The guy who’s after Hope has a more sophisticated security system than anything we’ve ever gone up against before. Remote access is going to be impossible. We don’t even know if we’ll be able to hack it from inside the house.”
“Who is this asshole? Doesn’t he know you and Wren are the best in the world?”
I almost laugh. The stress is getting to me. But Cara has an amazing ability to cut through all the bullshit I throw in my own way. “He’s going to find out. I hope. Right before Wyatt puts a bullet in his brain.”
She cups my cheek and skates her thumb just under my right eye. Her other hand hasn’t left the back of my neck. I wish I had the words to tell her she means to me. She’s the only one who can touch me without triggering my worst memories. Even Ry and Dax—my brothers in every way that counts—never do much more than clap me on the shoulder. After what we all went through, it’s no wonder we don’t trust easily.
“I’ve always dreaded this day,” Cara whispers. “The day you decided you were ready.”
The lump in my throat threatens to choke me. “I’m not ready, sunshine. I’ll never be ready. I’m so fucking scared…” Charlie whines and wedges himself against my legs. I drop to my knees and wrap my arms around him. “I can’t take you with me, buddy. We don’t know what we’re facing, and…fuck. It would kill me if anything happened to you.”
His cold nose swipes across my cheek, and I sink onto my ass so he can wriggle into my lap. Cara joins us, leaning against me with her head on my shoulder. The sun finally dips below the horizon. An ending of sorts. Not just of the day, but of the bubble I’ve been in since the day Ry and Dax brought me to Seattle.
“Ripper? You’re not the same person you were the last time you went on a mission. But you’re not the same person you were a year ago either. You’re stronger now.” She lays her hand against my cheek and gently turns my head so I meet her gaze. “But there’s something else that’s changed too.”
“What?” I grit out. Now that she’s at my side, my heart isn’t beating out of control, but how long will I be able to hold it together once she and Charlie drive away? If I lose my shit, Hope will never be free, and her friend…she’ll die.
“Your family,” she says. “They know you. Better now than ever before. If you start to panic, they’ll understand. I’ll stay with Wren—you know Ry’s going to insist anyway—and if you need me, she’ll patch me through.”
My eyes burn, and I pull her close. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Hush. We’ve been over this. Many times. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved.” She pauses for a beat, then runs her fingers through my hair. “And Jackson? You are loved. By every person in that building. And everyone who’s staying here. Wren. Royce. Cam. Q. Charlie. And me.”
“Wheels up in ten!” West calls from somewhere inside the warehouse.
Cara frames my face with her hands. “You have to go now. I’ll stay with Wren—and Murphy and Charlie—until you get back.”
Her lips brush mine, and her kiss settles me like nothing else can.
I can do this. I have to. For Hope and Wyatt. And for me.