Sometimes, I fail

I’m not perfect. In fact, I’m far from it. That’s partly why I chose the phrase “beautifully broken” for my characters and my books.

It also applies to me.

I have an anxiety disorder and ADHD. This means that sometimes, I can’t juggle all the balls I have in the air. To be quite honest, I can probably only juggle half of the balls I need to at any one time.

I do my best, but there are times it’s just not good enough. There are times I forget to respond to messages. Times I miss deadlines. Times I want to scream at the world, “Just let me have five minutes to myself!”

Over the past month, I’ve had to reformat most of my paperbacks to get ready for Shameless Book Con in three weeks. I’ve had to order swag, assemble it, and inventory it. Along with finishing Wicked Omens, working on a novella for a January anthology, and of course, Call Sign: Redemption.

Binky’s cancer treatments take time out of my week (time I’m glad to spend because he’s really doing well). My day job is extremely busy at the moment, and there have been people in my life who’ve needed my support (some I’ve been able to help, others, I’ve let down…and that nearly kills me).

I’m a perfectionist. I want to be able to do everything I need to do. And do it all well. But that’s not reality. Very few people can do that regularly. Sometimes, I can manage it for short periods. But not often.

I wish I could be better. Most of all, there are times I wish I could let someone take care of me. I’m the one who takes care of everyone else. And most of the time? That’s the role I prefer. I’m good at it. And it makes me happy.

But once in a while…I just wish someone else would take the reins. Tell me what decision is the right one. Tell me I don’t have to worry about X, Y, or Z. In truth, I probably wouldn’t deal with that very well. I tend to like to control everything around me. But, it would be nice to find out.

So, if I owe you a message, I’m sorry. I promise I will get back to you soon. If I owe you a book…it’ll be coming your way soon. If you’d like a teaser or two for Wicked Omens, my upcoming paranormal romance with the Midnight Coven, they’re coming soon.

Unfortunately, none of those things will happen for at least a few days. My in laws are in town. I love them. Really!! I won the in law lottery. But, I’m spending a lot of time away from my computer while they’re here.

So, I’ll be back to normal soon. And until then…remember…we’re all beautifully broken.

3 thoughts on “Sometimes, I fail”

  1. Wow, just wow. So many times do I feel the same. Trying to balance it all and wondering when it will all tip over and spill. But never feel like you have to apologize for being you. That’s what my shrink says. Hang in there

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